- September 18, 2021
God Said F**k You
God Said F**k You has language and topics not suitable for everyone. If questioning the power or morality of a deity is offensive to you, probably better that you don’t read this story.
A girl’s parents had taken away her fish after it died.
It was really her best friend. No friends from school, she was a weirdo, and kids can be cruel. Her family wouldn’t let her get a dog, they didn’t trust her to take care of it, and they didn’t have time for it any more than they did her. They wouldn’t let her have a cat because her mother was allergic and her father hated cats, believing they weren’t nearly as good as dogs.
She almost asked again for a dog, so instead, they got her a fish.
Most would think a child would be disappointed, annoyed, or even feel forgotten, but it felt like the greatest gift she ever got.
It was the blessing her parents never realized they needed. She would come home, feed her fish, and talk to it about her day. That’s all she needed to behave and to stay sane.
If only they had gotten the fish from a good pet store instead of at the supermarket, it would have lived longer than a few weeks.
And when she cried and cried for them to give her her fish back, they told her what any God-fearing Christian parent would say.
“It is with God now.”
So the little girl walked to the pond near her house. She walked and demanded from the sky that God give her back her fish.
God chuckled from behind the bush and scared the bejesus out of the little girl.
Once she calmed down, she was fuming at Him for a whole different reason. It was like she could feel Him smirking, that she was a joke to Him, and the more she felt that way, the more she pouted. The more she pouted the more His invisible smirk got bigger and bigger.
But before too long when her face had gotten beyond red, He told her, “I’m sorry your fish died, but he’s up here with me, living a calm afterlife.”
He told her the shtick He’d been selling since the dawn of life in the universe. It always worked on kids, they were easy to fool.
This time, like with a few others, He added a bit of genericness to it, the idea that, “Death is an important part of life, for the soul, it is a blessing just as living is. It was the end of your fish’s suffering, and you wouldn’t want him to suffer, would you?”
But the little girl didn’t care, she didn’t listen. It was less what He said, but that He was saying it.
God is eternal, God is everlasting.
Who the fuck is God to talk about how Death matters when He won’t die?
So she told God, “Give me my fish back or I’ll hurt you like you hurt me.”
God was… a bit taken aback. It showed by how His bush blew back despite the lack of wind, but He sighed and calmed down.
This is far from the first time someone had tried to threaten God, it was the girl’s age that was throwing Him.
He thought He should have compassion, mercy, forgiveness as His followers liked to preach to save themselves. I mean, come on, this was a little girl experiencing loss for the first time, who could blame her for being angry?
So God told the little girl calmly and slowly, “Well that isn’t very nice, and isn’t very possible.”
The little girl didn’t need Him to talk slowly, she never forgot how He spoke to her, and thus, He’ll never forget what she told Him that day.
The next day the little girl came back with a flower with many pretty petals, petals with a beauty God fashioned personally… but how could she know that?
Anyway, she sat at the pier, or maybe it was a dock and picked at the petals one by one until the flower was all but dead.
“Do you hurt now, God?” she asked Him. “Did I hurt you like you hurt me?”
This time God answered the girl from the flowing wind, half-considering lying to her so she would think she won and grow up, but he couldn’t do that. God couldn’t just let a little girl go through her life thinking she had one-upped God. What would people who believe in Him think?
Sure, some would think, ‘Obviously, He told her what she wanted to hear. That’s what men do, they lie, and they learned it from Him.’ That would make His ancient sense of humor chuckle, but He can’t. He knows a bunch of internet schmucks would use it as proof against His power until the day they were all dead.
Because that’s what humans do. They bitch until the end.
So He was honest with the girl, no lies… mostly.
“No, girl, no you did not,” he said, “please stop this, don’t hurt things over me.” There was a bit of weakness in His voice, and He thought that would be it.
Instead, the little girl shook her head, and told God, “No.”
Flabbergasted, you just couldn’t picture the look on the invisible wind’s face. Still, to the definition of insanity, God tried to tell her, “You’ll never succeed, you’ll waste your entire life trying, but you’ll never succeed.”
The girl paused, she waited, she thought, and considered herself. Is this really worth it?
Then she turned back to the wind and said, “We’ll see,” and then the little girl left.
Sometime later, when the little girl was a little bigger, she came back with a rat, pregnant with many babies.
She took the rat and held its head under the water. She held it there as it squirmed, as it tried not only to save itself but all of its babies. At some point, that’s all it was ever fighting for. She held it under the water there until it stopped moving and everything in its stomach died along with her.
“Have I hurt you now, God? Have I hurt you as you hurt me?” she asked Him.
God asked her a question first before He answered. “Did you know the rat was pregnant?”
The little girl answered, “Yes, just like my fish had yet to lay its eggs.”
Still, to her great ire, He knowingly said, “No, you have not hurt me, you cannot hurt me, so please stop.”
The little girl shook her head, “No, I will find something that will hurt you. I will find something that makes you act, that makes you change your ways. You’re supposed to be all-powerful, and all-good. Yet, you made my best friend die, and you let me kill this poor rat. I don’t think you’re so powerful, I think I can make you hurt. I think I can make you regret your stupid rules.”
The wind didn’t move, it stayed dead silent without even the sound of breathing.
Then God said, “It’s not possible.”
The little girl only pressed her hands down at her sides and pouted to the sky before once again declaring…
“We’ll see,” and walked away back home.
Sometime later, when the little girl was much, much older. She came carrying another little girl to the pond. She introduced the little girl to God.
“This is Amy! Amy wants to have many children. She wants to be an ambassador to the UN, to help women and children around the world.”
God chuckled, His voice coming from the pond and water, and said, “Well, I hope Amy gets all that she wants! It’s good to aim high to fulfill your dreams. Is this really what you want to do, Amy?”
The little girl whose not so little anymore, put Amy on the ground. Little Amy perked up, saluted the pond, and shouted, “Yup!”
“Why?” God asked her.
“That’s what my mom does, she’s pretty cool,” Amy said with a half dozen up and down nods of her head. “She helps out a lot of people. I get to meet them, and it’s kind of sad. There’s… a lot of sick people, people without homes, and nowhere to go. I just… I want to help them since no one else can!”
God had that invisible smirk on His face again, but unlike the little girl who had been at this game for years, Amy didn’t sense it. Amy didn’t notice how slowly God chose to talk to her.
God told her, “That’s very admirable of you, Amy,” and Amy ate it up.
The little girl who wasn’t so little anymore, squatted down next to Amy, put both hands on her shoulders, and told her, “Amy, don’t you know, you’re talking to God, the all-powerful creator, who can do anything!”
And Amy’s face changed, she had that cute little face kids have when they couldn’t place their finger on the mark. Even she questioned whether, “He can? I thought he couldn’t.”
Amy didn’t pay a lot of attention at her local church.
God, a little tongue-tied, tried to speak, “Well, I-”
The original little girl spoke for Him. “Of course he can!”
Amy’s face turned towards the pond, her mind thinking of a thousand things that should have made sense in the mind of a child, a mind that could have found a reason for anything.
“But, if you can,” Amy asked, “then why do people need my mommy’s help? Why… why would I…? Why aren’t you doing anything?”
“I…” God stammered, a little more than speechless, and full of excuses, “it’s not that simple.”
“If you can do something you should! I am!” she declared at the top of her lungs.
God took little Amy out at the knees. “No, you’re not.”
Amy’s lip quivered, and she tightened her fists into little balls. “But… but I’m gonna… I’m going to!”
“Maybe,” God said, but just as quickly He said, “but unlikely, it’s all temporary what mortals do.”
“Then why don’t you fix it?!” Amy screamed at Him, as all people eventually do, but not everyone asks God, “Can’t you?!”
“I have the power…” God admitted, and the original little girl smiled, “though it takes more than-”
“Then do it!” Amy screamed at Him, not letting Him speak, giving Him a piece of her little mind. “My mommy shouldn’t be crying because you refuse to help people! She should be happy because you’ve made everyone else happy!”
“Watch your tone,” God said, and Amy shut up.
Amy got scared.
The little girl turned Amy around, and let the little girl walk away with a sulk.
And the little girl who was not so little anymore had her turn.
“Why should she?” she challenged God. “What are you gonna do if she doesn’t?”
“Watch what you say,” God said to the little girl next, but unlike Amy, the little girl had no fear of Him and His scary voice.
“You know what I think, I think Amy was right to question you because maybe you’re not as powerful as I thought, you just want us to think that.” The little girl turns back to Amy and told her, “Do you believe, Amy? Do you believe He’s as powerful as everyone says he is?”
God was silent as Amy turned around, and He was silent as she came back, and stood at the little girl’s side, standing only as high as her waist but Amy stood taller.
“No,” Amy answered, and the pond started forming waves just from mere ripples.
“He just wants you to believe He’s all-powerful so you pray to Him,” the little girl told Amy.
And Amy said, “Yes.”
The waves started rocking the pier, and the little girl said, “He wants you to fear Him.”
And Amy said, “Yes.”
The waves splashed water into their faces, soaked them clean, but they stood against the waves, two against Him.
“He wants you to believe He’s all-powerful when He’s really not!”
And Amy damned them both when she said, “Yes!”
“But now you know-”
“You’re wrong,” God told them, silenced them both, and silenced the waves too, and the storm, and everything else that might be a threat. He didn’t have it in him anymore.
But the little girl had nothing but energy, for she lived off of hate and spite.
“Am I?” she challenged Him, “I think there’s a reason you can’t save a simple fish, but I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you the chance to prove it, right Amy?”
“Right!” Amy agreed.
Then the little girl pushed Amy into the water.
“What are you doing?” God questioned as Amy rushed to the surface.
The little girl squatted at the edge of the pier, where Amy called for help, not being the best swimmer.
The little girl reached her hand down, atop Amy’s head.
And pushed her under.
“What are you doing?!” God demanded to know, but the little girl had nothing but challenges and jests.
“What does it look like? I’m drowning her, in you.” God never saw it coming.
“If you’re so powerful, you should be able to save her, easy peasy, it should be the easiest thing you do all day.”
The little girl let off Amy’s head and Amy came gasping for air and called for help. She didn’t call for the little girl who was drowning her, she called for Him. “God help me!”
Then the little girl pushed her back under.
“But I don’t think you can,” she told God, “I think you’re powerless, I think you have no power at all anymore, if you ever did, and every second she spends under the water, is a second I have proven it, destroying your greatest lie.
“That God is all-powerful, that you actually could have given me back my fish.”
And so she kept her hand atop Amy’s head, and Amy struggled, and God, as he always has, sat back and did nothing.
Then Amy stop struggling and just started floating.
“Oh, would you look at that,” the little girl taunted God to his face, “Amy’s gone up to be with you and my fish. Now tell me, after proving your worthlessness in your own face… have I hurt you yet?”
God didn’t answer. He was as silent as he always was and always is. He could barely muster the words, “What the fuck is wrong with you, you sick child?”
The little girl looked down at the pond, ignoring the body floating to the surface, and told God, “You hurt me first, and now I hurt you. Do you hurt as I do?”
And with great indignation, with a hint of a snarl and nasty disappointment, simmering with rage and righteous anger!
… God muttered, “No.”
The little girl lost her fucking mind.
She tore at the hair on her head and her aging face. She screamed, “No? No? NO?!” Her scream was unintelligible.
“Why can’t I hurt you? Why don’t you hurt as I do?”
“Do you really want to know?” God asked the little girl, who after so long wasn’t actually so little anymore.
“Yes, yes I do, I want to know more than anything, why I can’t make you hurt as you have made me hurt.”
God gestured the little girl closer to the pond, so she could hear Him whisper it to her.
“Your whole universe is to me like your fish should have been to you. A blimp in your life. I made this world and everything in it. And then I left to do nothing more than barely answer the fucking phone. Do you want to know why I don’t fix everything? Why I don’t make life permanent? It’s because I don’t care.
“You’re pets, you’re entertainment, I leave food and sometimes take you out for walks. You could never kill something that would hurt me so.”
The girl got… so confused. It didn’t make sense with everything her parents taught her.
“What does that mean, about us?” she asked him.
“It means at most you’re a job to me, and at least, half-time entertainment. Do you know what that means, little girl?”
The little girl who was no longer so little replied with a great understanding that no one would believe, even if it did come from the horse’s mouth.
“It means I don’t give a fuck about you. Now get over the fish and get yourself a goddamn dog.”